We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
