this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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