Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
