I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You left your phone here
Wait...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize