so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
