We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
