Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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