i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
