ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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