Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize