Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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