T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
