I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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