We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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