Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Farmville is her only friend.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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