I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
