i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
