I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
