why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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