If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
