I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
