We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
