why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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