so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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