He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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