You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize