Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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