i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
two words...techno handjob
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
