Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
