I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
