I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
