You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He did a backflip because drugs
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