therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
