You can't special order awesome
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
