dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
