Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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