dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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