I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
