That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
