there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
