You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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