There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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