Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
