I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dick very happy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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