if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
it's like iHOP with fire
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize