I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
