garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
