I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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