what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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