I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
third nipple confirmed
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
