i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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