Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
