Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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