I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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