Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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