perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
