What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
