I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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