I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
