alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
