So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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